Beg v neznano: zapiski 1945 - 1949
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| 1. Verfasser: | |
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| Format: | Buch |
| Sprache: | Slovenian |
| Veröffentlicht: |
Ljubljana
Studia Slovenica
2008
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| Schriftenreihe: | Studia Slovenica
27 |
| Schlagworte: | |
| Online-Zugang: | Abstract |
| Beschreibung: | Zsfassung in engl. Sprache u.d.T.: Flight to the unknown |
| Beschreibung: | 246 S. Ill., Kt. 23 cm |
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Datensatz im Suchindex
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| adam_text | Flight to the Unknown
Summary of Anton
Žakelj s
Refugee Camp Diaiy and Memoirs
On May
4, 1945,
church bells rang in Slovenia and all over
Europe. After five terrible years, World War II was coming to an end.
However, for Anton
Žakelj
and thousands of others, the worst effects of
World War II were just beginning. A communist dictatorship took
control of Slovenia and the rest of Yugoslavia. Anton and his fiancee
Cilka knew that they would be imprisoned or executed if they stayed.
They said farewell to their families, not knowing where they would
live or whether they would ever return.
Anton and Cilka stuffed some clothes into a suitcase and a
brief-case, put food into a mesh bag and hung it all on his bike. At
11
a.m. on May
7, 1945,
they joined a river of refugees. The bike was too
loaded to ride on it, so they walked alongside it, with Anton pushing
from behind and Cilka steering the front. About
10
of their co-workers
and friends decided to go with them. They left what some people were
calling the beginning of freedom for Slovenia
-
the promised workers
paradise
-
and headed for the unknown.
They headed north to Austria, to an area that was controlled
by the British and hopefully safe from the communists. Their starting
point, Kranj, was
17
miles from the border. The walk to the border was
not that difficult for Anton; thousands of others started much further
away and had the added burdens of caring for small children and
elderly parents.
Just before night fell, they reached the Ljubelj pass and tunnel.
The terrain between Slovenia and Austria is mountainous and very
difficult to cross. There was a very large crowd of people waiting to go
through the tunnel, but the retreating German Army was using the
225
tunnel
themselves and preventing civilians from entering. Cilka and
Anton decided to stay in a nearby barracks that had been used by
workers who were building the tunnel.
For the next two days, confusion and desperation reigned at the
entrance to the tunnel. There were reports of refugees being attacked by
Partisans along the road in Slovenia. At least a couple people com¬
mitted suicide. Then somebody shot the German officer who was pre¬
venting civilians from using the tunnel and people began moving
through. In the tunnel, they found total darkness and mud that was
knee-deep. A few miles past the other side, they were blocked by Par¬
tisans who forced them back into Slovenia. A group of
Domobranci
went ahead, fought a fierce battle with the Partisans and opened the
way for the refugees. Meanwhile, Anton and his group stayed in the
barracks near the tunnel entrance. Cilka s brother-in-law Mire joined
them, along with about
8
other people from
Žiri. Mire
seemed to
actually like the danger and adventure.
When Cilka went to the washroom near the barracks, she took
off her wristwatch and set it to the side of the wash basin. She didn t
remember it until later, but by then it was already gone.
1
will really
miss my watch, she said to Anton, but the important thing is that I
have you! Cilka and Anton had grown up not far from each other in
Žiri.
In
1939,
they decided to get married. They looked forward to ser¬
ving their community and raising a family in
Žiri,
just as their ances¬
tors had done for hundreds of years before. But the war changed all
their plans. They delayed their marriage plans, waiting for better
times.
Around
8 p.m.
on May
11, 1945,
many-colored rockets began to
fly over the barracks from all directions. Soon the first barracks caught
fire, and then the others (there were about
40
barracks in all). At the
tunnel, there was still a large mass of people. Anton and his group
decided to take the steep road across the mountain pass. At first, the
light from the burning barracks helped them see where they were
going, but it soon became completely dark. They groped about and
somehow managed to stay on the narrow mountain road. It was after
226
midnight when they reached the other side of the pass. At the first
house, they found a stable, but the floor was covered with manure.
They took down a large barn door and slept on the door.
The next day, they were awakened by a beautiful clear sky.
They hung the door back on the barn and went onward, downhill from
the mountain pass towards the valley below. As they continued on, the
road was often blocked by overturned vehicles. When they reached
the valley at noon, they saw many signs of the recent battle between
the Partisans and the Domobranci. A dead Partisan lay here, another
there. In the meadows were dead horses with distended bellies. After
they crossed the
Drava
River, the road again began a steep uphill
climb. Anton became so weary that he fell down in the shade of a bush
next to the road. Cilka brought him some water into which she had
mixed some sugar. That helped him regain his energy and they
resumed their journey.
At the top of the hill, they met a British soldier. Whenever
he saw people walk by with weapons, he motioned to them to throw
their weapons into the ditch at the side of the road. In the ditch was a
large pile of weapons, binoculars, telephones and other equipment. A
Domobra-nec came by and started looking through the pile, but the
British soldier just waved his stick (that was his only weapon) and the
Domobranec disappeared. Germans, Russians, Serbs, Greeks and Domo¬
branci all had to give up their weapons, but the Partisans were
allowed to keep theirs.
Just before midnight Anton and his group arrived at a meadow
next to the small village of Vetrinje ( Viktring in German). There
were already so many people, there was no room to lie down. Every¬
where people were sleeping as if they were dead. They continued on
and found some tall grass where they spread out blankets and lay
down, exhausted.
In the following days, Anton s group grew to
33
people. The
men and boys made three tents out of branches. There were
7
people in
Anton s tent : Cilka, her brother Rupert, her brother-in-law Mire,
their friends
Vinko Kržišnik,
Franc and Pavel Kokelj, and Anton.
227
Anton s group soon realized that the
3
tents they had made out of
branches and oiled paper were very inadequate. Rain soaked through
the paper so they began to feel not only drops but liters of water pouring
down on them. The men went into the woods where they stripped all
the bark off some large pine trees and used the bark to cover their
tents .
The refugees soon ran out of the food they had brought with
them. They began slaughtering the horses that had been left by the
retreating German army. They also received some tent material which
the Germans left behind. The
Domobranci
cut enough empty gasoline
barrels in half so each group could use one as a kettle for cooking. For
the next six weeks they cooked horsemeat in those barrels, until they
could no longer stand the smell.
Some of the refugees, including Cilka, became sick with dysen¬
tery, a disease that usually involves severe diarrhea and abdominal
cramps and is caused by unsanitary food or water. At first, drinking
water came from the same stream where the refugees washed them¬
selves. The British tried to treat the drinking water with chlorine, but
it was not enough for the thousands of people in the camp. The camp
included about
70,000
people, of which about
17,000
were Slovenians,
and of those about
11,000
were
Domobranci
who had fought against the
Partisans during the war.
Since Anton was the only person in the group who had some
management experience and since the rest of the group knew even less
German than he did, he became become the group s leader and took care
of all the many requests from the authorities for information about
each member of the group.
On May
26,1945,
the British moved out a first group of
Domo¬
branci,
telling them that they were going to Italy, where they would
receive new uniforms, weapons and equipment. The
Domobranci
march¬
ed from the camp, singing enthusiastically. Two days later, there were
rumors in the camp that the British were not taking the
Domobranci
to
Italy, but instead to Slovenia, where they were delivering them to the
Yugoslav Partisans.
A Domobranec
escaped, returned to the camp, and
228
told everyone what was happening. But the leadership of the
Domo¬
branci
scolded him and accused him of spreading lies and confusion.
The next day, additional reports spread like lightning that
the British had taken the
Domobranci
to Yugoslavia, the Partisans
had killed
80%
of them and the civilian refugees would soon have to
face the same fate. The entire camp was in shock.
Dr.
V. Meršol
then talked with Majors
Barre
and Johnson, who
talked with the commander and reached agreement that anyone who
wanted to return home could go, and anyone who wanted to stay, could
stay. Of course, the remaining refugees were relieved, but what about
the
11,000
Domobranci
who were sent back to Yugoslavia?
On Friday, June
1,1945,
Dr.
Edvard
Vračko
spoke to the remain¬
ing Slovenian refugees. With tears in his eyes, he told them that the
Domobranci
were betrayed. One or two of his own sons were included in
the group that the British sent back to Yugoslavia. He cried when he
reported that the men had been tortured.
30
years later, Anton wrote his own thoughts about this
horrible event:
How could this have happened? Wiiy didn t the
Domobranci
disperse and not allow themselves to be sent back to the Partisans?
Why did they still trust the British after the British forced them to
give up their weapons? Why did they continue their military drills
and continue to prepare for another battle with the Partisans? I think
the only explanation must be that the
Domobranci
had, after many
victories over the Partisans, become so self-assured and so confident of
ultimate victory, that they would have beaten up their own leaders if
they had been told to disband. They thought they would be safe from
Partisan attack only if they stayed together.
As the
Domobranci
were being led away, I was tempted to go
with them. I was always on their side during the war. I could not
support the Partisans because I could see that they cared more about
controlling their brothers than fighting the Germans. The Partisans
were willing to commit any atrocities just to come into power. But I
didn t join the
Domobranci
because I had work (managing the dairy and
229
the shoemakers cooperative) where I thought I could do more good.
On June
13, 1945,
Anton and Cilka celebrated his 38th birthday.
They ate the last two cans of sardines that they had brought from
Kranj. Anton noted in his diary that they didn t need anything to
drink because the rain poured through their roof all day.
On June
25,
the refugees at Vetrinje were told that the camp
must be evacuated in a few days. Some would go to Lienz, some to
Spittal, some to
Št. Vid,
and others to
Judenburg
(refugee camps in
Austria). Anton s group was designated to be moved to
Judenburg.
On
June
29,
they were part of a group that was loaded onto
9
trucks with
about
25
people on each truck. They were still worried that they might
be taken back to Slovenia, so they made a plan for their escape: if the
truck should turn towards Slovenia, Pavel Kokelj would throw a
blanket across the windshield and stop the truck. The truck headed
north and they began to think that this time the British were being
honest. But when they arrived in
Judenburg,
the truck went past the
city towards the Russian sector. When they saw the red flag with a
hammer and sickle, they became very worried that the British were
handing them over to the Russians. Again, Pavel got ready to throw a
blanket across the truck s windshield. But
-
thank God
-
he didn t need
to use it. At the last intersection, the truck turned back towards the
city, to a former army barracks. That night, their room was so crowded
that the Kokelj brothers, the tallest members of the group, had their
feet sticking out the door. But they soon fell asleep. Compared to the
wet fields of the past month and a half, it was a huge improvement to
have a dry floor and a solid roof over their heads.
Anton and his group lived in barracks
#27
in the Liechtenstein
camp near
Judenburg
for almost three years. They had one room about
18
by
18
feet. Initially, the group was
22
people, but after a year, it
was down to
11.
Camp rations usually amounted to less than
1,000
calories per day (a typical American diet exceeds
2,000
calories). In
order to avoid starvation, some of the refugees worked for nearby
farmers, where they were often treated like slaves in exchange for a
small amount of food. Clothes were also in very short supply. Most of
230
the refugees could not afford to buy new clothes if they wore out what
they had brought with them from Slovenia.
Not far from the camp, Anton found a pile of
warplanes
that
were so damaged in the war that the Germans decided they were no
longer useable. The refugees returned frequently to this pile, removing
pieces of aluminum, wiring and other materials, which they then used
to make pots, washbasins, spoons, and many other useful implements.
Most of the refugees still hoped to return home to Slovenia.
They listened closely for any news regarding political developments at
home and elsewhere. Sometimes, the news was hopeful, indicating
that it might soon be safe to return home. However, as time went by, it
became clearer that the communists were consolidating their power.
Anton received reports that some of his brothers in Slovenia were in
prison and that some of his friends were tortured and killed.
On October
10, 1945,
Anton was excited to discover that nearby
farmers sometimes missed some nice potatoes as they were completing
their harvest. In the following month, the refugees often returned to
those fields. At one time, there were
35
refugees in one field digging
with all kinds of tools, ranging from wooden sticks to pickaxes. Those
potatoes lasted until the following spring and helped prevent
starvation.
In November
1945,
administration of the camp transferred from
the British military to UNRRA, the United Nations Relief and Reha¬
bilitation Agency. A few refugees were able to get low-wage jobs in the
camp offices, kitchens, etc. Gradually, UNRRA also began distributing
some badly needed clothes. By January,
1946,
almost everyone in
barracks
#27
was wearing the same green overcoats with huge collars
and yellow trim on the left sleeve.
Camp life was not always miserable. Every evening, all the
refugees from
Žiri
gathered in barracks
#27.
First they prayed the
rosary, then they played chess and other games. Some evenings, they
danced and made music.
Erznožnik
played the harmonica, Fr.
Kopač
played an aluminum banjo,
Levičar
played on a homemade tambourine,
Anton played bass (on a broom), someone else played on a comb, and
231
others played on the pots and pans that they had made from war-
planes.
Sometimes, Anton and his friends had heated arguments about
what happened during the war. If they had resisted the communists
more strongly, could they have prevented the communists from taking
over? Could they have saved their homes and their families? Anton
often had dreams about returning to his home. The dreams became
nightmares, with the Partisans chasing him, and him trying to escape
through the over-grown ravine near his home.
In November,
1945,
Anton began an arrangement with a nearby
merchant who provided thread (which was at that time very hard to
get) so that Anton s sister
Mici
and fiancee Cilka could make bobbin
lace. Since Anton had experience and training as a business manager,
he took care of the business duties while
Mici
and Cilka did the
lacemaking. In a few months, their lacemaking business grew to the
point where they had
15
women making lace, and Anton was selling
everything they made. Anton bicycled to nearby towns, selling bobbin
lace. He began to draw some of the designs himself, some of them in
response to specific requests from customers. This provided another
small source of income, a way to buy some extra food and necessities.
On February
25,1946,
five members of Anton s group decided to
return to Slovenia and accept their situation, whatever the conse¬
quences. They knew they would probably be harrassed and jailed, but
they did not see a future for themselves in the refugee camp, and they
very much wanted to be home, reunited with their families. In the
coming months, another
6
people from Anton s group decided to return
home.
On May
5,1946,
elections were held for the refugee camp board.
UNRRA was pressuring everyone to find paid work to support the
camp, and Anton was elected to find jobs for everyone. With few decent
jobs available, Anton s election turned out to be a difficult, thankless
task. Some of the men obtained jobs cutting lumber in the woods and
working on road construction. Cilka got a part-time job helping a local
shoemaker. All the jobs were low-wage; Anton refused to place people
232
in certain jobs because the working conditions were intolerable.
On June
5, 1946,
Anton begged the UNRRA camp director for
raw materials so the refugees could make things to sell. The director
said, You don t know how to make anything, you don t have anything
to show! Anton decided to show him what could be made out of
nothing. He went around the camp, wrote down what kinds of things
his fellow refugees could make, and in less than a week, he organized a
craft show. All together,
50
refugees displayed
300
items, all things
they made in the camp: pots made out of downed
warplanes,
little
heart-shaped sewing boxes, brushes made of larch branches, brooms
made of birch branches, shoes, a barrel, a carpenter s wooden table,
pictures, lots of bobbin lace, and other things. Anton explained to the
UNRRA director that much of the bobbin lace was made out of thread
from discarded flour sacks; he emphasized that they could do much
better if they had the proper raw materials. Everyone was impressed,
including the director.
After a month, UNRRA finally provided a small amount of
wood and thread. Anton organized a bigger craft show, this time
inviting people from the nearby city of
Judenburg.
The show was a
wonderful success, generating a great deal of sympathy and respect for
the refugees, and interest in buying their products. By August,
1946,
Anton had more orders for bobbin lace than he could fill. Anton paid
himself at the same hourly rate as his lacemakers.
On October
22, 1946,
Anton and Cilka were married in the
refugee camp. They had hoped to be married by Anton s priest brother
Stanko
in the presence of their parents, but
Stanko
was in prison in
Slovenia and it would be impossible for their parents to travel to
Austria. Anton had also been reluctant to get married when they were
so poor and homeless, and knew nothing about their future. But he was
becoming more concerned about Cilka s reputation. They had been
living together (with up to
20
other roommates) for over a year. When
they finally got married, all those worries were set aside by the joy of
their wedding.
In November,
1946,
UNRRA decided to set
upa camp
store and
233
take over all sales of refugee products. As a result, sales declined
sharply. Anton became increasingly dissatisfied with the refugee camp
board and resigned his position.
In January,
1947,
UNRRA allowed Anton to resume his lace
sales, but he had to pay a tax of about
25%
for camp expenses.
On February
11, 1947,
Anton s brother
Jože
and sister
Mici
returned to Slovenia.
Jože
received word that a group of soldiers had
camped out next to his home and their officer had moved into his
home, where his wife had been living. Despite his worries about what
would happen to him in Slovenia,
Jože
decided he needed to be with
his wife.
Mici
was still single and her feelings were more mixed. But
Jože
was concerned what would happen to her if she stayed in the camp
and so he insisted that she go back with him. As they left, Anton had
tears in his eyes. He was afraid this would be the last time he would
see any member of his family. He wrote that the camp was now his
home and his wife Cilka was his family.
A month later, Anton received a letter from
Jože
who was re¬
lieved that his wife had stayed faithful to him, and that he was not
imprisoned when he returned. (The communists put him in prison later.)
In
1947,
the local Austrian police began harassing the refugees.
There had been a rule all along that refugees were not allowed to
travel more than
10
kilometers from the camp without permission, but
that rule was widely ignored. In April,
1947,
Anton s roommate Franc
Demšar
was sentenced to
90
days in jail for riding his bike more than
10
kilometers from the camp.
Police also began searching refugees rooms, ostensibly looking
for stolen items, but taking whatever they wanted. On May
5,1947,
Anton was working on a lace design when five policemen arrived to
search his room. They said Show us your typewriter, we need to do an
investigation!
He told them he had nothing to hide and pointed to
the typewriter on the table. His brother-in-law had bought it with
hard-earned money. The police insisted it must be stolen and
confiscated it, along with some cans of food which his roommates had
received as payment for their logging work. Anton realized later that
234
the typewriter was probably taken because he had frequently helped a
friend type letters to the UNRRA director, alleging corruption among
the camp leadership. Anton was furious: as a refugee, he had no
rights. He wrote, To whom
cani
complain? To God?
By May,
1947,
Anton again had enough orders for bobbin lace to
occupy anyone in the camp who had the necessary skill and interest.
But UNRRA began insisting that the lacemakers obtain higher paying
jobs outside the camp.
Qn June
6, 1947,
Anton and Cilka applied for emigration to
America, Canada and Argentina. On July
7,1947,
the International Ref¬
ugee Organization
(IRO),
another UN agency, took over camp adminis¬
tration from UNRRA. The
IRO
cut the number of paid jobs inside the
camp and began increasing pressure on the refugees to return home.
September
9,1947
marked the departure of the first group from
Judenburg
for Canada. The group included
6
Slovenians from Anton s
camp
-
Jože
and Franc
Baje,
Ivan
Preželj,
Ivan
Vičič, Jože Zaje,
and Ivan
Zupančič.
Only able-bodied men without families were being accepted
into Canada.
On September
21,1947,
two local newspapers reported that all
7,000
Slovenians in Austria would be forced back to Slovenia. Anton
and his fellow refugees became very afraid and hopeless, but there
wasn t much they could do about it. One thing they did was to organize
all-night prayer vigils, taking turns praying in the camp chapel. A
month later, a special commission visited the camp to interrogate
every refugee, Apparently they were looking for war criminals, and
they treated people as if they were already convicted. Another month
later, Anton s acquaintance,
Filip Orlov,
hanged himself. People said
he was probably feeling hopeless about his future.
On November
12,1947,
Anton heard on the radio that about
100
war criminals were returned to Yugoslavia. Anton s brother-in-law
Mire
Kolene
was informed that he might be sent back to Slovenia for
unknown reasons, perhaps his black marketeering. In March
1948,
a
British officer advised Mire that he should try to emigrate to England
to avoid being sent back to Slovenia.
235
In January
-
March
1948,
Anton became increasingly worried
about the future. Cilka was pregnant. Sales of bobbin lace were not
going well, and he had no regular work. He didn t know if he could
ever go back home, or where he would find a new home. How would he
fulfill his duties as a father when he couldn t even support himself?
He often felt sick; a doctor diagnosed his problem as stomach ulcers.
On March
4,1948,
the camp director read a list of
48
refugees,
in-cluding Anton, who would have to leave soon for construction jobs in
Cana-da. Their families could come later. The married men said they
would refuse to leave without their families. But the next day, the
IRO
replied that the refugees would lose their rights to food and
lodging if they didn t sign forms agreeing to move to Canada without
their families. They felt they had no choice but to sign. On March
15,
1948,
all the wives were sum-moned to the camp office to sign forms
allowing their husbands to emigrate to Canada without them. Most of
them, including Cilka, refused to sign.
On March
27, 1948,
Anton and Cilka, together with their
witnesses Mire
Kolene
and Franc Kokelj, went to the city offices for
their civil marriage. It was already a year and a half since their
church marriage, but they were told that some countries require proof of
a civil marriage for immigration. There was an organ playing, and
then the official (an old man named
Gelter)
preached to them about
marriage. He acted so much like a priest that they all thought he
looked silly. Anton needed all his willpower to keep from bursting out
laughing. Cilka thought it was all very funny, too. But they got past
that, and as they listened to the old man preach, tears came to their
eyes.
Mr. Gelter
really had some beautiful advice and heartfelt
wishes for them. Anton noted in his diary that, since he and Cilka had
now been married twice, their marriage should certainly last. In fact,
it lasted until Cilka s death
58
years later.
On April
7, 1948,
the refugees at the
Judenburg camp
were
loaded into open-air trucks and moved to the Trofaiach camp about
20
miles away. Most of them opposed the move because they expected
conditions in the new location to be worse, but the
IRO
gave them no
236
choice. They had no idea what to expect at the new camp, so they
packed everything they had, including their firewood. Anton took
down the boards that walled off a corner of the barracks for him and
Cilka. They also took apart beds, furniture and electrical wiring that
they had set up in their barracks. Later, they learned that they didn t
need to pack all those things. Conditions at the new camp turned out to
be better than they expected.
Anton noted in his diary that they had spent almost three
years at the
Judenburg
camp. During that time, they experienced many
sad times as well as happy times. There was a danger that they
would lose their morals, but they lived a more Christian life in the
camp than they did back home. It was especially difficult for some of
the men who had to leave Slovenia without their wives, and who had
not seen them for many years. But, considering the fact that so many of
the refugees were healthy young men and women, they behaved very
honorably. They prayed a lot and they had a lot of innocent fun. And,
despite the crowded conditions, they got along reasonably well.
Near the new camp, Anton and Cilka were pleased to meet a
Slo-venian shoemaker named
Čopi
who agreed to provide Cilka with
some part-time work. Anton liked the surroundings at the new camp.
The spruce woods behind the camp were especially beautiful and ideal
for Anton s walks.
At the new camp, a British sergeant named McKeon supervised
refugee labor assignments. Anton and a group of
10
were assigned to
pound fenceposts along the camp s roads. The pay was very low, barely
enough to buy a few loaves of bread each month.
On April
26,1948,
a large group left for Canada, including Mire
Kolene,
Franc and
Janko Demšar,
Franc and
Cene Kokelj,
and
Vinko
Kržiš-nik.
It was a difficult departure for all of them, but especially
for Mire, who had a wife and two children back in Slovenia. Anton
noted that these were their closest friends, all people from the same
town, people that they had lived with (usually in the same room!) for
the past
3
years. Through all the adversities of those years, they
supported each other, sharing their sorrows, hopes and joys.
237
In May
1948,
Anton
tried to reestablish the lace-making
business in the new camp. Seven lacemakers agreed to work with him,
but Anton had trouble finding people who were willing to buy the lace.
With his wife pregnant, he decided he had to find a job that paid
more.
On July
20,1948,
Anton began working with a construction com¬
pany located over an hour from the camp. The work involved shoveling
dirt out of a
9
foot deep ditch for a sewer pipe. That evening, he was so
tired he couldn t eat or drink. He continued this hard labor at various
construction sites until October
1948.
He was usually paid according to
how much he dug. His pay for
10
hours of hard labor was barely
enough for a
2
pound loaf of bread. Sometimes his pickaxe hit a rock
and it felt like
440
volts went through his body. But he noted in his
diary, I can t give up!
■
Late on August
15, 1948,
Cilka got up, saying I don t know
what s happening. I feel healthy, but I m losing water. The camp
doctor called for a nurse and driver to take them to the hospital in
Leoben, about
5
miles away. The camp s driver,
Štefan Tovornik,
had
just returned, very tired from a day-long trip but he agreed to take
Cilka to the hospital. (Many years later, Anton was able to repay the
favor by helping Tovornik and his family with housing and work when
they came to America.) The next day, Anton rode a bike to the Leoben
hospital. Cilka was still in the operating room. They wouldn t let
him in, but he could see that she was smiling. A nurse told him Cilka
had given birth to a baby boy at
11:30
a.m. At
1 p.m.,
they brought
Cilka to her room and Anton was finally allowed to visit her. Despite
having just given birth to her first baby, and a large one at that, she
felt good and looked very happy. Anton was relieved and happy to see
both mother and son looking very healthy. A week later, Cilka and
their baby returned to the camp. They decided to call him
Janko
(Johnny).
On September
30, 1948,
about
100
Slovenians, the first group
from the Trofaiach camp, left for Argentina. This first group was fol¬
lowed later by many more. Anton noted in his diary, That s where I
238
would most like to go. I think my skills and honest hard work would be
appreciated in South America. My skills might not be appreciated in
Canada, which is more advanced in both culture and technology. And I
have no hopes for America, since I have no relatives or acquaintances
there to help me. Besides, I hear that the fight for survival in
America is simply not human.
On October
11,1948,
Anton saw a doctor regarding pain he was
feeling during his construction work. The doctor diagnosed a hernia and
determined that Anton needed to be admitted to a hospital and have
an operation as soon as possible. Four days later, Anton had a succesful
hernia operation. He stayed in the hospital for
15
days and became
very bored.
On November
23, 1948,
another group of refugees left for
Canada, including
Mimi
Albiani,
Ferdo
and Terezija
Pušelj
with their
son,
Marija Zore
and many others.
On January
3,1949,
about
300
more refugees left from
Trofaiach
for Argen-tina, including about
70
Slovenians. Anton noted that they
wished they could go back home to Slovenia
-
but not to slavery,
suffering and death.
On January
11,1949,
Angela
Filipič
died during childbirth, but
her baby, a boy, survived. Angela and her husband
Marjan
were good
friends of Anton and Cilka. The tragedy shook Anton deeply. What if
this had happened to Cilka?
On April
21, 1949,
IRO
staff reviewed each person s plans for
emigration and threatened to evict anyone who refused to make plans
for emigration. For most people, the
IRO
recommended emigration to
Australia.
As springtime arrived in the camp, Anton resumed his walks in
the woods, now with his infant son Johnny. He noted that Johnny
really liked these walks and paid attention to every detail; he noticed
birds or squirrels quicker than Anton did.
On May
30,1949,
the first large group from Trofaiach left for
America, including the Jernej Zupan family
(5
people) and others,
altogether
26
people. That same day, Anton noted that the camp food
239
was the worst in
3
years: nothing but coffee in the morning, bean soup or
polenta for lunch, and coffee or inedible soup for dinner. He wondered
if this was how the
IRO
would force everyone to leave.
The next day, Anton took over Jernej Zupan s mail carrier
duties. It was not a paid job, but the tips sometimes amounted to more
than most of the paid jobs that were available at that time.
On June
6,1949,
Anton received some good news: John and Mary
Brezic agreed to be their sponsors in America! They were an older
couple who wanted Anton to help them on their farm in Wisconsin and
maybe someday take over their farm.
In the following months, there were many forms to fill out, mul¬
tiple medical examinations, vaccinations and long waits for official
approvals. Finally, on November
16, 1949,
the American consul in¬
formed Anton that his application for immigration was approved!
On November
24, 1949,
Anton and Cilka said farewell to
friends who were still at Trofaiach (most had already left for other
countries by that time). Together with the
Cerar,
Sršen
and Rihtar
families, they boarded a train which took them to Salzburg. In Salz¬
burg, they went through more questioning and medical exams and, after
two days, boarded a special
IRO
refugee train, headed for Naples,
Italy. After more medical exams and more anxious waiting in a camp
near Naples, they finally boarded the United States Transport Ship
General Greeley on December
11,1949.
Cilka and Johnny were assigned
to a small cabin with
3
Polish women. Anton was assigned to a men s
dormitory, lower down in the ship. The trip began well, but the wind
and waves soon picked up and made people seasick. Everyone was at
the ship s railings, throwing up into the Mediterranean. The next
night, the sea was so wild that announcements were being made on the
loudspeakers, telling everyone to stay in their cabins. But it didn t
seem much safer to stay in bed, either. In the dining room, any tables
and chairs that were not fastened down were destroyed. In the clinic,
large bottles of medicine broke. In the kitchen, hundreds of dishes
broke into pieces.
The next day, the sky finally cleared, the sea became calm,
240
and seasickness subsided. After that there were more times when the
ocean became rough and seasickness returned. Cilka and Johnny were
also seasick, and Johnny was teething. Each day the ship s staff
announced the miles completed: usually about
400
miles a day. The
entire trip was about
4,400
miles. Anton wondered if they would make
it to New York alive.
On December
22, 1949,
everyone was up early and out on the
deck. At
8
a.m., they looked through the fog and saw the outlines of
dry land: it was the New Jersey shoreline. At
10
they caught sight of
the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyscrapers. Many years
later, Cilka talked about how wonderful it was to see the Statue of
Liberty. It was a symbol of the freedom that they had been seeking for
so many years. But it was also a symbol of how far they had traveled
and the fact that they would probably never be able to go home again.
A boat came to the ship with a customs officer and a number of
medical officials. Anton noted in his diary. There was no need for X-
rays, they could see right through our stomachs. Everyone was very
hungry. By the evening, the passengers and their luggage were
transferred to busses, and then to a train in New York City. At the
train station, Anton looked everywhere for a loaf of bread, but all he
could find were sandwiches, so thin you could see through them and
expensive as saffron/
That night, a New York Central train, with large, shiny, new
aluminum cars, took them to Chicago. There they transferred to a
smaller
Soo
Line train which took them to Marshfield, Wisconsin,
bi
Marshield, John Brezic and others were waiting for them. Around
6
a.m., they finally arrived at the Brezic farm. Anton and Cilka were
tired and hungry, but too polite to ask for food. When they got up to
their bedroom, Johnny, who had been sad for weeks, suddenly became so
happy and excited that Anton and Cilka just laughed at him and cried
for joy. And so they began their new life in America with hope and
determination.
241
Qosing Comments by
John Žakelj
For various reasons, the Wisconsin farm did not work out well
and after six months, we moved to Cleveland, USA. Six years later, my
father faced his most dangerous and difficult trial. He became more
and more an-xious, sometimes to the point of being unable to work. He
was hospitalized a number of times without specific physical illnesses.
I believe these epi-sodes of anxiety were an effect of the war and the
refugee experience. He wondered why he lived when so many others
died. He questioned the choices he had made. He mourned his
mother s death without him at her bedside in
1954.
He worried about
the brothers and sisters who had stayed behind in Slovenia, most of
them in prisons and labor camps for many years after the war, and then
mistreated after their release. And he was very aware of the loss of
his status in the workplace. In Slovenia, he was a respected manager.
In America, he took whatever job he could get to support his family.
He labored under very difficult working conditions and was subject to
unreasonable and arbitrary bosses. All these things ground him down,
but other things gave him hope and the will to live: his wife Cilka,
his children, his church, the large community of Slovenian immigrants,
the freedom and economic opportunities provided by America, and
working at home on his own projects, including his writing.
My father s first regular job in America was manual labor in a
metalworking factory in Cleveland, USA. His job was to carry heavy
steel parts and to clean up oil and metal shavings, sometimes in
extreme heat. He was not a large man, and not used to heavy physical
labor. I remember how he would come home, exhausted, with oil-
soaked hands and metal slivers embedded in his fingers. He went to
evening school to become a machinist and earn higher pay for his
family. After a few years, he became a machinist but found the job to
be too stressful. Heavy steel parts had
tobe
drilled and shaped to the
thousandth of an inch. Machinery often broke down and expensive
242
parts
were wasted, usually with little understanding from the bosses.
It was here that he developed the anxiety attacks described above.
After a number of years as a machinist, he became a factory janitor,
which he found to be less stressful. Later, he wrote in his diary, I am
still happier being a janitor in America than a slave in communist
Slovenia.
When we came to America, I was their only child, a year and a
half old. About two years later
(1952),
my brother Tony was born, then
brother Joe a year after that, and sister Mary two years after Joe. My
mother was quite busy with housework and raising children, but she
still managed to find some time to go door to door selling her lacework.
Later, when the children began attending school, she worked as a part-
time cleaning lady for rich people and offices. My mother provided
the positive, selfless spirit that kept our family together and thriving
through many difficult times. After she died in March,
2004,
my
father missed her greatly.
When my siblings and I were growing up, my parents skimped
on everything to make ends meet, but not on books and education for
their children. Twenty years later, they were very proud when we gra¬
duated from college. I obtained a degree in languages and psychology,
my brothers obtained multiple degrees in mathematics and computer
science, and my sister became a pediatrician. It was achievements like
this that helped my parents feel better about leaving their beloved
homeland and their families in Slovenia. The communists had tried to
destroy them, but in-stead my parents prospered and thrived. Despite
all these achievements, one nagging issue continued to gnaw at my
father s
insides,
and that was the historical record and how he and
the other refugees were perceived.
When we came to America in
1949,
my father found many
people who wouldn t listen or couldn t understand his side of the story.
The Yu-goslav government had spread lies about how the refugees had
collaborated with the Nazis. Many Americans believed those lies and
called us traitors and collaborators. This hurt my father deeply. It s
difficult to express how important it was for him to set the record
243
straight, but it wasn t until his articles were published in America and
Slovenia
40 - 50
years later that he felt some balance had been
restored,
m
that decade before he died, he achieved a measure of
peace and satisfaction.
Working on these diaries has also been satisfying for me
personally. I have gained a better understanding of my parents and
myself, as well as a better understanding of the ways that truth can
lead to reconciliation and real peace between enemies. And I have
come to know many fascinating people who shared these experiences,
mostly children of refugees who were in the camps with my parents.
Many of their parents are dead now, but the children still want to know
who their parents were and what really happened. They understand
that these experiences are part of their identity and they find my
father s diaries invaluable. I hope this book will make it easier for
people to understand what really happened, to learn from history and
to be inspired by our parents faith, hope and values. They believed
that we, their children and grandchildren, could make this world a
better place, a place where each person is treated with respect, where
people are not punished for doing what they believe is right, where
each person has opportunities and responsibilities to grow and to make
their own contribution to society.
Many people have helped
mè
prepare this material for
publication. Among them, I want to particularly thank my wife,
Bonnie Watkins, for her support as well as her writing expertise.
John Zakelj
244
|
| any_adam_object | 1 |
| author | Žakelj, Anton |
| author_facet | Žakelj, Anton |
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| author_sort | Žakelj, Anton |
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| callnumber-subject | D - General History |
| ctrlnum | (OCoLC)234168452 (DE-599)BVBBV035381841 |
| era | Geschichte 1945-1949 gnd |
| era_facet | Geschichte 1945-1949 |
| format | Book |
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| institution | BVB |
| language | Slovenian |
| oai_aleph_id | oai:aleph.bib-bvb.de:BVB01-017186088 |
| oclc_num | 234168452 |
| open_access_boolean | |
| owner | DE-12 |
| owner_facet | DE-12 |
| physical | 246 S. Ill., Kt. 23 cm |
| publishDate | 2008 |
| publishDateSearch | 2008 |
| publishDateSort | 2008 |
| publisher | Studia Slovenica |
| record_format | marc |
| series | Studia Slovenica |
| series2 | Studia Slovenica |
| spelling | Žakelj, Anton Verfasser aut Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 Anton Žakelj Ljubljana Studia Slovenica 2008 246 S. Ill., Kt. 23 cm txt rdacontent n rdamedia nc rdacarrier Studia Slovenica 27 Zsfassung in engl. Sprache u.d.T.: Flight to the unknown Žakelj, Anton / 1907-2006 / Diaries Žakelj, Anton <1907-2006> Diaries Geschichte 1945-1949 gnd rswk-swf World War, 1939-1945 / Refugees / Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Personal narratives, Slovenian Slovenes / Austria / Diaries Refugee camps / Austria Weltkrieg (1939-1945) Refugee camps Austria Slovenes Austria Diaries World War, 1939-1945 Personal narratives, Slovenian World War, 1939-1945 Refugees Diaries Slowenischer Flüchtling (DE-588)4619470-8 gnd rswk-swf Zweiter Weltkrieg (DE-588)4079167-1 gnd rswk-swf Flüchtlingslager (DE-588)4017611-3 gnd rswk-swf Österreich Österreich (DE-588)4043271-3 gnd rswk-swf (DE-588)4133254-4 Erlebnisbericht gnd-content (DE-588)4058900-6 Tagebuch gnd-content Österreich (DE-588)4043271-3 g Flüchtlingslager (DE-588)4017611-3 s Zweiter Weltkrieg (DE-588)4079167-1 s Slowenischer Flüchtling (DE-588)4619470-8 s Geschichte 1945-1949 z DE-604 Studia Slovenica 27 (DE-604)BV000018219 27 Digitalisierung BSB Muenchen application/pdf http://bvbr.bib-bvb.de:8991/F?func=service&doc_library=BVB01&local_base=BVB01&doc_number=017186088&sequence=000002&line_number=0001&func_code=DB_RECORDS&service_type=MEDIA Abstract |
| spellingShingle | Žakelj, Anton Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 Studia Slovenica Žakelj, Anton / 1907-2006 / Diaries Žakelj, Anton <1907-2006> Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Refugees / Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Personal narratives, Slovenian Slovenes / Austria / Diaries Refugee camps / Austria Weltkrieg (1939-1945) Refugee camps Austria Slovenes Austria Diaries World War, 1939-1945 Personal narratives, Slovenian World War, 1939-1945 Refugees Diaries Slowenischer Flüchtling (DE-588)4619470-8 gnd Zweiter Weltkrieg (DE-588)4079167-1 gnd Flüchtlingslager (DE-588)4017611-3 gnd |
| subject_GND | (DE-588)4619470-8 (DE-588)4079167-1 (DE-588)4017611-3 (DE-588)4043271-3 (DE-588)4133254-4 (DE-588)4058900-6 |
| title | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 |
| title_auth | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 |
| title_exact_search | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 |
| title_full | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 Anton Žakelj |
| title_fullStr | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 Anton Žakelj |
| title_full_unstemmed | Beg v neznano zapiski 1945 - 1949 Anton Žakelj |
| title_short | Beg v neznano |
| title_sort | beg v neznano zapiski 1945 1949 |
| title_sub | zapiski 1945 - 1949 |
| topic | Žakelj, Anton / 1907-2006 / Diaries Žakelj, Anton <1907-2006> Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Refugees / Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Personal narratives, Slovenian Slovenes / Austria / Diaries Refugee camps / Austria Weltkrieg (1939-1945) Refugee camps Austria Slovenes Austria Diaries World War, 1939-1945 Personal narratives, Slovenian World War, 1939-1945 Refugees Diaries Slowenischer Flüchtling (DE-588)4619470-8 gnd Zweiter Weltkrieg (DE-588)4079167-1 gnd Flüchtlingslager (DE-588)4017611-3 gnd |
| topic_facet | Žakelj, Anton / 1907-2006 / Diaries Žakelj, Anton <1907-2006> Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Refugees / Diaries World War, 1939-1945 / Personal narratives, Slovenian Slovenes / Austria / Diaries Refugee camps / Austria Weltkrieg (1939-1945) Refugee camps Austria Slovenes Austria Diaries World War, 1939-1945 Personal narratives, Slovenian World War, 1939-1945 Refugees Diaries Slowenischer Flüchtling Zweiter Weltkrieg Flüchtlingslager Österreich Erlebnisbericht Tagebuch |
| url | http://bvbr.bib-bvb.de:8991/F?func=service&doc_library=BVB01&local_base=BVB01&doc_number=017186088&sequence=000002&line_number=0001&func_code=DB_RECORDS&service_type=MEDIA |
| volume_link | (DE-604)BV000018219 |
| work_keys_str_mv | AT zakeljanton begvneznanozapiski19451949 |