It all begins with a date: Jewish concerns about intermarriage
Saved in:
| Main Author: | |
|---|---|
| Format: | Book |
| Language: | English |
| Published: |
Northvale, NJ [u.a.]
Aronson
1995
|
| Subjects: | |
| Online Access: | Inhaltsverzeichnis |
| Physical Description: | XXV, 222 S. |
| ISBN: | 1568215428 |
Staff View
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| adam_text | IMAGE 1
IT ALL
BEGINS WITH A DATE JEWISH CONCERNS ABOUT INTERMARRIAGE ALAN SILVERSTEIN
A PROJECT OF
THE LEADERSHIP COUNCIL OF CONSERVATIVE JUDAISM
JASON ARONSON INC. NORTHVALE, NEW JERSEY LONDON
IMAGE 2
: MOBILIZING CONSERVATIVE JUDAISM S INSTITUTIONS-
PROMOTING MARRIAGE WITHIN THE FAITH JEROME EPSTEIN XVII
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS XXI
INTRODUCTION XXIII
1 GROUNDS FOR CONCERN: JEWISH VIEWS OF INTERMARRIAGE 1
1. RABBI, THROUGHOUT MY YEARS IN HEBREW SCHOOL AND JEWISH YOUTH GROUPS,
NO ONE EVER SHOWED ME WHERE JEWISH SACRED TEXTS OPPOSE INTERMARRIAGE.
FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, IT SEEMS AS THOUGH SUCH STUBBORNNESS IS SIMPLY
PARENTAL
NARROW-MINDEDNESS AND THAT IT HAS NO BASIS IN JEWISH RELIGION. 4
2. OKAY, RABBI, PERHAPS INDIVIDUAL VERSES IN THE BIBLE AND JEWISH LAW
PROHIBITED INTERFAITH MARRIAGE; HOWEVER, MANY OF THE GREAT ANCIENT
JEWISH LEADERS SUCH AS MOSES AND JOSEPH CLEARLY DISREGARDED THESE
STRICTURES. 7
3. RABBI, PERHAPS JEWISH SOURCES OPPOSE INTERMARRIAGE AND POSTULATE THAT
AN INTERMARRYING JEW AND HIS/HER DESCEN- DANTS WILL BE LOST TO JUDAISM,
BUT CAN T I RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM BY MARRYING A NON-JEWISH PERSON AND
HAVING THAT INDIVIDUAL CONVERT TO JUDAISM? 8
V LL
IMAGE 3
VIII CONTENTS
4. IF MY NON-JEWISH SPOUSE DOES NOT CONVERT TO JUDAISM, CAN T I STILL
PERPETUATE JUDAISM BY RAISING MY CHILDREN AS JEWS? 9
5. WHY NOT RAISE MY FUTURE OFFSPRING WITHOUT ANY RELIGION AT ALL? 11
6. WHY NOT RAISE THE CHILDREN IN BOTH JUDAISM AND CHRIS- TIANITY? 12
7. WHY NOT EXPOSE SONS AND DAUGHTERS TO BOTH JUDAISM AND CHRISTIANITY
DURING CHILDHOOD AND LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE LATER IN LIFE? 15
8. REGARDLESS OF THESE CONSIDERATIONS, CAN T I HAVE A FINE MARITAL
RELATIONSHIP ANYWAY? 17
9. WELL, AT LEAST ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN. EVEN IF I INTERMARRY AND MY
SPOUSE DOES NOT CONVERT, AND MY CHILDREN ARE NOT CERTAIN TO BE JEWS, OF
COURSE MY OWN JUDAISM RE- MAINS ASSURED. 20
10. I CAN AGREE THAT BECOMING A CATHOLIC OR A PROTESTANT MEANS LEAVING
THE FOLD. WHAT ABOUT MESSIANIC JUDAISM AS A COMPROMISE CHOICE? 21
11. WHAT ABOUT UNITARIANISM AS A NEUTRAL GROUND? 22
12. ARE THERE PERILS IN A JEW SELECTING TRANSCENDENTAL MEDI- TATION AS
AN ALTERNATIVE CHOICE? 25
13. WHAT ABOUT TURNING INSTEAD TO DISCIPLINE OF THE MIND SUCH AS
SCIENTOLOGY? 27
14. WHAT ABOUT STEPPING ASIDE FROM ORGANIZED RELIGION AND JOINING A
HUMANISTIC CAUSE SUCH AS ETHICAL CULTURE? 30
IMAGE 4
CONTENTS BE
15. WHY DOESN T THE JEWISH COMMUNITY SIMPLY SOLVE THE
PROBLEM OF DISAFFILIATION BY PROCLAIMING NON-JEWISH SPOUSES AND CHILDREN
FULL PARTICIPANTS IN LOCAL SYNA- GOGUES AND IN JEWISH LIFE IN GENERAL?
33
16. RABBI, ISN T PROMOTING MARRIAGE OF ONE S OWN KIND A VIEW THAT IS
INCOMPATIBLE WITH OUR COMMITMENTS TO AMERICA, DEMOCRACY, OPENNESS, AND
FREEDOM OF CHOICE? 34
17. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF-FOLLOWING MARRIAGE-I OR MY NEW
FAMILY UNIT REMAINS JEWISH OR BECOMES CHRIS- TIAN OR SOME COMBINATION OF
BOTH? ARE NOT ALL THESE RELIGIONS THE SAME, SIMPLY TEACHING YOU TO BE A
GOOD
PERSON? 35
18. RABBI, WHY DO CHRISTIAN CLERGY-MINISTERS AND PRIESTS- SEEM LESS
CONCERNED ABOUT INTERMARRIAGE THAN OUR JEW- ISH LEADERS? 38
19. PERHAPS ALL OF THIS IS TRUE. BUT IF SO, WHAT DIFFERENCE SHOULD IT
MAKE TO ME? WHY BE JEWISH AT ALL? 40
20. ISN T ALL OF THIS DISCUSSION FUTILE? IN OUR OPEN SOCIETY, WITH A
REPORTED 50 PERCENT INTERMARRIAGE RATE GROWING AT A RAPID PACE, IS NOT
INTERFAITH MARRIAGE INEVITABLE? 42
21. RABBI, IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF
INTERMARRIAGE, WHY ARE YOU WILLING TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WORKING WITH
PROSPECTIVE CONVERTS AND MIXED- MARRIEDS GRAPPLING WITH JUDAISM? 44
2 INTERDATING AND INTERMARRIAGE: A JEWISH PARENTS GUIDE 47
1. HOW WOULD MY CHILD S INTERMARRYING POSE A RISK TO JEWISH SURVIVAL? 49
IMAGE 5
CONTENTS
2. MY CHILDREN WILL NEVER SHARE MY POINT OF VIEW. WHY BOTHER TO ENGAGE
THEM IN A CONVERSATION ABOUT INTER- DATING/INTERMARRIAGE? IT IS A WASTE
OF TIME, AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY. 50
3. MIGHT I BE IMPAIRING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILD IF HE/ SHE GETS
ANGRY AT MY INTRUSION INTO HIS/HER DATING OR MARITAL PLANS? 53
4. HOW CAN I JUSTIFY MY VIEWS ABOUT JUDAISM WHEN MY CHILDREN SEE THAT I
AM NOT OBSERVANT? WOULDN T I BE HYPO- CRITICAL? 54
5. HOW CAN I RECONCILE CONCERNS ABOUT INTERDATING/INTER- MARRIAGE WITH
MY DESIRE FOR A FULL INVOLVEMENT IN AMERI- CAN SOCIETY AND AN OPENNESS
TO FRIENDSHIPS WITH NON- JEWS? 58
6. WHEN SO MANY OTHER JEWISHLY IDENTIFYING PARENTS TAKE NO STAND
WHATSOEVER AGAINST INTERDATING/INTERMARRIAGE, HOW CAN I SET MYSELF
APART? 60
7. HOW CAN I OPPOSE INTERDATING/INTERMARRIAGE WHEN I AC- CEPT
INTERMARRIED MEMBERS OF OUR EXTENDED FAMILY? 61
8. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BLESSINGS AND JOYS OF BEING JEWISH, HAVING
JEWISH DESCENDANTS, BEING PART OF THE JEWISH CHAIN OF TRADITION? 62
9. BEYOND DIALOGUE, WHAT ACTIONS CAN I TAKE TO DIMINISH THE LIKELIHOOD
OF MY CHILDREN INTERMARRYING? 63 HIGH-SCHOOL YEARS 63
THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE 65
AFTER GRADUATION 66
IMAGE 6
CONTENTS XI
3 IT ALL BEGINS WITH A DATE: PARENT/YOUNG ADULT DIALOGUES ABOUT
INTERDATING 69
1. MOM/DAD, WHY ARE JEWS SO UPSET ABOUT INTERDATING? PER- HAPS
INTERMARRIAGE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, BUT DATING SIMPLY MEANS HAVING A GOOD
TIME, WITHOUT MAKING A LIFELONG COMMITMENT. WHY SHOULDN T I INTERDATE
UNTIL THE RIGHT JEWISH PERSON COMES ALONG? 72
2. COME ON. ISN T SAYING I WON T INTERDATE JUST ANOTHER FORM OF RACISM?
73
3. AREN T THE CRITERIA REGARDING DATING DIFFERENT THAN THOSE RELATED TO
MARRIAGE? 75
4. MOM/DAD, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM OF INTERDATING WITHIN OUR CIRCLE OF
NON-JEWISH FRIENDS? AFTER ALL, WE ARE JUST LIKE ONE ANOTHER IN ALL OTHER
WAYS. ISN T IT GOOD TO HAVE NON-JEWISH FRIENDS? 77
BALANCING GENTILE FRIENDSHIPS WITH JEWISH DATING PATTERNS 77
DIFFERENCES DO EXIST 78
THE DECEMBER DILEMMA 79
5. I LIVE IN A JEWISH COMMUNITY IN WHICH THERE ARE RELATIVELY FEW JEWISH
DATING PARTNERS. ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I NOT DATE AT ALL? 80
DEFERRING FUN 80
AGGRESSIVELY TRAVEL TO NETWORK WITH OTHER JEWS 81 DO NOT PANIC 81
6. ARE ALL THE TELEVISION AND FILM PORTRAYALS OF COMPATIBLE MIXED DATING
AND INTERMARRIAGE OFF BASE? 82
7. I HAVE ANOTHER ISSUE TO RAISE. JEWISH PROSPECTIVE DATING PARTNERS
DON T SEEM TO HAVE THE QUALITIES I SEEK. 84
IMAGE 7
XII CONTENTS
8. WHY DO YOU (PARENTS/GRANDPARENTS) INTERFERE IN THIS AS- PECT OF MY
DECISION-MAKING? THIS IS MY LIFE, ISN T IT? WHY CAN T YOU BE LIKE OTHER
PARENTS AND LEAVE ME ALONE? WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT INTERMARRIAGE
WHEN YOU ARE
NOT RELIGIOUS ANYWAY? 89
9. MOM/DAD, AREN T YOU BEING HYPOCRITES ABOUT INTERDATING AND
INTERMARRIAGE? AFTER ALL, YOU ATTENDED MY COUSIN S INTERMARRIAGE
WEDDING. YOU ACCEPT AUNT JANE AND UNCLE RALPH S MARRIAGE, EVEN THOUGH
THEY HAD INTERDATED AND
THEN JANE CONVERTED TO JUDAISM. YOU EVEN ACCEPT AUNT SARAH AND UNCLE
JOHN S FAMILY. THOUGH JOHN NEVER RELIN- QUISHED HIS CHRISTIANITY, THEIR
KIDS ARE BEING RAISED AS JEWS. 93
4 PLANTING SEEDS FOR JEWISH CONTINUITY: A GUIDE FOR CHIL- DREN AGES 3-6
97
1. RABBI, HOW CAN WE ANSWER THE QUESTION WHY BE JEW- ISH? BOTH FOR
KIDS AND FOR OURSELVES? 100
2. ARE PARENTS REALLY IMPORTANT ROLE MODELS FOR THE TRANS- MISSION OF
JUDAISM TO THEIR OFFSPRING? 100
3. DOES REMAINING JEWISH REQUIRE THAT I SEGREGATE MY CHIL- DREN FROM
SOCIETY, AS DO SOME JEWISH GROUPS? 102
4. RABBI, GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF THIS SYNTHESIS WHEN THE ANNUAL DECEMBER
DILEMMA, HANUKKAH VS. CHRISTMAS, INVADES OUR FAMILY S LIFE! 104
5. WHAT SHALL WE SAY WHEN YOUNGSTERS ASK ABOUT INTERMAR- RIAGE, ABOUT
INTERMARRIED RELATIVES, ABOUT PEOPLE THEY KNOW WHO ARE INTERDATING,
ABOUT TELEVISION SHOWS IN
IMAGE 8
CONTENTS XIII
WHICH PEOPLE ARE MARRIED TO PERSONS OF DIFFERENT RELI- GIOUS
BACKGROUNDS? 106
6. WHAT OTHER MATTERS MUST WE RESOLVE IN OUR OWN MINDS AS PARENTS BEFORE
WE CAN TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE PRIDE AS JEWS? 109
7. HOW SHALL WE PURSUE THE GOAL OF MAKING OUR CHILD INTO A GOOD JEW, A
MENSCH? 110
8. WHAT KINDS OF HANDS-ON ACTIVITIES ADD TO MY CHILD S GROWING JEWISH
IDENTITY? 113
9. RABBI, DOES MY CHILD REALLY NEED RELIGION/SYNAGOGUE AFTER ALL? 114
10. RABBI, DOES JUDAISM CONTRIBUTE TO MY CHILD S IDENTITY FORMATION AND
SENSE OF BELONGING? 118
11. WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF ENROLLING MY CHILD IN A PROGRAM OF FORMAL
JEWISH EDUCATION? AND OF INFORMAL JEWISH SET- TINGS? 121
12. WHAT IS MEANT BY JEWISH FAMILY EDUCATION? IS THIS SOME- THING THAT
WOULD BE IMPORTANT FOR MY FAMILY? 123
5 WHY BE JEWISH? WHAT S THE GAIN, THE PRIDE, THE JOY? 127
SELF-FULFILLMENT VIA JUDAISM 130
HEART JEWS-SPIRITUALITY AND RITUAL EXPRESSION 132 HAND JEWS-ASSISTING
FELLOW JEWS AND SOCIAL ACTIVISM 141 HEAD JEWS - RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND
INTELLECTUAL STRIVINGS 148
IMAGE 9
CONTENTS
6 LOOKING AHEAD 161
APPENDIX I: JUDAISM AND CHRISTIANITY ARE DIFFERENT 167
A BRIS IS NOT A BAPTISM 168
BAR/BAT MITZVAH IS NOT CHRISTIAN CONFIRMATION 169 RESPONSES TO DEATH IN
JUDAISM AND CHRISTIANITY 171 SYNAGOGUE IS NOT CHURCH 172
HANUKKAH IS NOT CHRISTMAS 173
PASSOVER IS NOT EASTER 176
APPENDIX II: GRANDPARENTING JEWISH CHILDREN 179
1. RABBI, SINCE I HAVE NOT BEEN RELIGIOUS UP TO THIS POINT, WOULDN T
IT BE HYPOCRITICAL TO BEGIN TO STRESS TO MY CHIL- DREN AND GRANDCHILDREN
THAT BEING JEWISH IS IMPORTANT TO ME? 180
2. HOW POWERFUL ARE RITUALS IN THE TRANSMISSION PROCESS? 181
3. WHAT DO I SAY IF MY CHILDREN ACCEPT MY NEWFOUND JEWISH LIFESTYLE FOR
MY HOME BUT REFUSE TO ENCOURAGE JEWISH ACTIVITIES FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN
WITHIN THEIR OWN DO- MAIN? 184
4. HOW SHALL WE PURSUE THE GOAL OF MAKING OUR GRANDCHILD INTO A GOOD
JEW, A MENSCH? 186
5. SHOULD I OFFER TO FINANCE THE JEWISH EXPERIENCES OF MY GRANDCHILDREN?
187
SYNAGOGUE AFFILIATION 188
JEWISH EDUCATION 188
JEWISH INFORMAL ACTIVITIES 188
IMAGE 10
CONTENTS XV
COLLEGE AND BEYOND 189
CONCLUSION 190
APPENDIX III: RESOURCE GUIDE 191
PUBLICATIONS 191
ADDITIONAL RECOMMENDED READING 193
VIDEOTAPES AND FILMS 196
APPENDIX IV: PROMOTING JEWISH CONTINUITY: OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE WITHIN
CONSERVATIVE JUDAISM 197
EARLY CHILDHOOD 197
SYNAGOGUE SCHOOLS 197
SOLOMON SCHECHTER DAY SCHOOLS 199
CAMPS RAMAH 199
YOUTH MOVEMENTS 200
ISRAEL EXPERIENCE 201
COLLEGE LIFE 202
ADULT EDUCATION 203
BIBLIOGRAPHY 205
INDEX 213
|
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| id | DE-604.BV010546857 |
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| indexdate | 2024-07-09T17:54:50Z |
| institution | BVB |
| isbn | 1568215428 |
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| spelling | Silverstein, Alan Verfasser aut It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage Alan Silverstein Northvale, NJ [u.a.] Aronson 1995 XXV, 222 S. txt rdacontent n rdamedia nc rdacarrier Juden Judentum Religion Conservative Judaism United States Interfaith marriage United States Jewish families Religious life United States Jews United States Identity Marriage Religious aspects Judaism Mischehe (DE-588)4125565-3 gnd rswk-swf Juden (DE-588)4028808-0 gnd rswk-swf USA USA (DE-588)4078704-7 gnd rswk-swf USA (DE-588)4078704-7 g Mischehe (DE-588)4125565-3 s Juden (DE-588)4028808-0 s DE-604 HEBIS Datenaustausch application/pdf http://bvbr.bib-bvb.de:8991/F?func=service&doc_library=BVB01&local_base=BVB01&doc_number=007029769&sequence=000002&line_number=0001&func_code=DB_RECORDS&service_type=MEDIA Inhaltsverzeichnis |
| spellingShingle | Silverstein, Alan It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage Juden Judentum Religion Conservative Judaism United States Interfaith marriage United States Jewish families Religious life United States Jews United States Identity Marriage Religious aspects Judaism Mischehe (DE-588)4125565-3 gnd Juden (DE-588)4028808-0 gnd |
| subject_GND | (DE-588)4125565-3 (DE-588)4028808-0 (DE-588)4078704-7 |
| title | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage |
| title_auth | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage |
| title_exact_search | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage |
| title_full | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage Alan Silverstein |
| title_fullStr | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage Alan Silverstein |
| title_full_unstemmed | It all begins with a date Jewish concerns about intermarriage Alan Silverstein |
| title_short | It all begins with a date |
| title_sort | it all begins with a date jewish concerns about intermarriage |
| title_sub | Jewish concerns about intermarriage |
| topic | Juden Judentum Religion Conservative Judaism United States Interfaith marriage United States Jewish families Religious life United States Jews United States Identity Marriage Religious aspects Judaism Mischehe (DE-588)4125565-3 gnd Juden (DE-588)4028808-0 gnd |
| topic_facet | Juden Judentum Religion Conservative Judaism United States Interfaith marriage United States Jewish families Religious life United States Jews United States Identity Marriage Religious aspects Judaism Mischehe USA |
| url | http://bvbr.bib-bvb.de:8991/F?func=service&doc_library=BVB01&local_base=BVB01&doc_number=007029769&sequence=000002&line_number=0001&func_code=DB_RECORDS&service_type=MEDIA |
| work_keys_str_mv | AT silversteinalan itallbeginswithadatejewishconcernsaboutintermarriage |